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Unless provided otherwise in writing with Joshua S. Simon, the programs and information described herein are provided as is without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. Some states do not allow the exclusion of implied warranties. The above exclusion may not be applicable to all users because warranty rights can vary from state to state and from country to country. In no event will Joshua S. Simon be liable to anyone for special, collateral, incidental, or consequential damages, including any lost profits or lost savings, arising out of the use or inability to use these web pages. Joshua S. Simon will not be liable even if he has been notified of the possibility of such damage by the user or any third party.

Use at your own risk. Batteries not included. Limit 1 per customer. Void where prohibited by law and in Tennessee. Not valid with any other coupon or discount. No warranty is expressed or implied. Results may vary from specifications. Subject to change without notice. No consultants were harmed during publication, though the author and reviewers could each use a good backrub. No cash value. May cause drowsiness. Avoid direct exposure to sunlight. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using this website. Product measured by weight, not volume. Past performance does not guarantee future results. Store at controlled room temperature (15-30 °C, 59-86 °F). Do not mix with ammonia-based cleaning agents. Keep out of reach of children. Take with food. Do not eat. Induce vomiting if swallowed. Your mother swims after troop ships. Mechanical reproductions not allowed. Contents may have shifted during flight. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Read all directions. Injury or death may occur if used improperly. Use of this product in other than the recommended manner voids warranty. Danger: Risk of electric shock. No user serviceable parts inside. Deep dish $1 extra. Parental discretion advised. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. For recreational use only. Shipping and handling extra. All models over 18 years of age. Meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. Not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Does not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Keep away from open flame or spark. Some assembly required. Use only as directed. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if consumed before date on carton. Times approximate. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-active ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Slippery when wet. Net weight before cooking. Surfaces should be clean of paint, grease, dirt, etc. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. No Canadian coins. Do not puncture or incinerate empty container. See label for sequence. Time lock safe, clerk cannot open. At participating locations only. Align parts carefully, then bond. Falling rock zone. Keep out of reach of children. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Check paper path. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Penalty for early withdrawal. Sign here without admitting guilt. No solicitors. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No purchase necessary. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Extinguish all pilot lights. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated areas. Replace with same type. Accessories sold separately. Check here if tax deductible. Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Hard hat area. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Adults 18 and over only. Detach and keep for your reference. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Demo package, not for resale. Driver does not carry cash. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. The meatiness of the lobster may vary depending upon the season. Tag not to be removed under penalty of law.